Sorry for not sending out “Merry Christmas” message this year.

   Tokkok

Strange language sometimes. Silly sometimes. Downright infuriating sometimes. Always lots of fun. Always Malaysian.

Looks like the flood is here to stay to ruin the X’mas holiday for many in Johor, Melaka, Pahang, Terengganu and Kelantan. And the flood is not the only thing that could dampen our mood and spirit to celebrate our X’mas. My good friend Mr Golden Voice Patrick Teoh has these to say in his blog “Tokkok”…

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Merry Christmas Everyone?

(Adam: Sigh. Please wake me up when it’s over.)

I suppose that if our Malay friends and fellow citizens of Bolehland on the island of Penang celebrated Christmas they would indeed have a Jolly Christmas this year. Today’s NST carried the front page headline, “HOMES IN PRIME AREAS FOR PENANG MALAYS”. (Wow! Great sensational journalism by the NST flers. Keep it up and the NST’s circulation will overtake the tired old Star very soon.)

For those of you who have been asleep since 1957 here’s some background to that. Some months ago somebody up there in Pulau Pinang complained that the Gerakan led government wasn’t doing enough for the Malays on the island. Among the grouses was that the Malays could not afford to own homes in the prime housing areas of Penang. Of course any intelligent thinking person would have deduced that homes in prime areas cost more than others. That’s why they are called prime areas. And to buy them means that you have to work hard at something, succeed, make lots of money, then go buy the homes in the prime areas. But here in Bolehland that obviously isn’t the methodology. “Give me! I want!” seems to be enough to get the machinery chugging to grant the demands. Better than a magic wand if you ask me.

So how is it going to work for our friends in Penang? I read the NST story on page 16 but only after swallowing a Valium pill. Just in case, you know.

Second Finance, Minister Tan Sri Nor Mohd. Yakop announced that Pelabuhan Hartanah Bumiputera Berhad would purchase 3 parcels of land in “prime” areas to be developed into “affordable” housing and commercial lots for the Malays of Penang. The land was purchased from Island and Peninsula and TNB at what the minister terms “below the market price” (read whatever you want into that line and weep at why they didn’t do the same thing for the classic heritage Bok House in KL to save it from demolition) The minister also announced that the government was in the process of working out an innovative mechanism to ensure Bumiputeras, especially from the lower income group, would be able to buy the units. 2 questions here. Why would the lower income group want homes in ‘prime’ areas where everything else would be more expensive and where they would feel like second class residents among million Ringgit condominiums and bungalows with swimming pools? It’s like building low cost housing in Bangsar and Bukit Tunku. If you move lower income residents into a prime housing area wouldn’t that mean that the area would eventually become “non-prime”? Then how?

Hey there you are! You’re in a prime area now so what else you want? Isn’t this teaching the people to rely on handouts rather than to achieve and improve? You want to live in prime areas? Ok we give you la. Then you will always remain in the same shit state of mind so you will continue to vote for us. And…wait a minute! Ah maybe those politicians aren’t that stupid after all. Silly me! Hey listen I am 100% for the NEP and helping our deserving Bumiputera brethren but I don’t think this is the way to go man.

Towards the end of the NST article it was read that a trust was formed with RM2billion to ensure that real estate beyond the reach of the Malays could be purchased by way of a collective fund. Huh??? There’s probably some hidden wisdom for the good of our country behind this. But I’m sorry, folks. It escapes me. It just makes me really upset, as a citizen of this country to hear things like that. Real estate beyond the reach of the Malays to be purchased by a collective fund??? So how is that going to help in the development of a people? Sigh. That’s the way it is these days. Ask and you shall be given.

‘Tis the season to be jolly! But there isn’t really very much to be jolly about as we prepare to celebrate the season.

Samy Velu has already announced that our toll rates are among the lowest in the world. Of course he didn’t tell you that in countries that have higher toll charges you don’t have to pay the toll and then be confronted by blood vessel popping traffic jams right after you pay. And also, being Samy Velu, he told us that highway companies couldn’t recover their investments if there are no increases. Huh? Like the FUCK I care. It’s business isn’t it? You want the contract to build and operate highways you do your projections. And when your proposal is approved you’re on your own. Go shoot yourself and your board of directors if after a few years you realise that you’d made a mistake in your calculations.

Some other clown has said that our taxi fares are among the lowest in the region. Maybe true but the same clown didn’t say that we can only benefit from that if we can find a taxi driver who doesn’t ask, “pegi mana? Tak boleh ah. Jam la.” Or “Mahu pegi Ampang ah? 30 Ringgit” for a 5 Ringgit ride on the meter.

Another red-nosed entertainer has told us that water rates need to be increased because the privatised company trusted with providing us with H2O has suddenly realised that they had taken on too many debts that they cannot pay back. So? The government wants to privatise water supply. You want the job and bid for it. You get it. So get on with your job and your business. Ask your consumers to pay for your mistakes?

And our government is spending millions of our money to send some joker into space and have the opportunity to call him an astronaut when he is just a paying space tourist. Well one thing to be jolly about is that at least they have done away with the teh tarik stunt after providing the entire world with laughs for a while.

They are going to build a multi-million Ringgit sports complex in England to train our sportsmen and women when millions of other talented Malaysians still have to kick a soccer ball on gravelly lanes and beside longkangs.

And the list goes on and on and on.

A Merry Christmas everyone?

P/S Oh yes, and don’t forget that the PM has now allegedly bought himself a yacht that cost RM30 million on a PM’s salary of…what? RM30,000 a month?

A Merry, Merry Christmas Everybody!!!

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